With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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