But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
