Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He passed out mid-signature
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
