You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
