i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
