He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
