she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
