Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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