Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
