i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
