oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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