my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
