dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
