remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
