Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
