your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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