No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I could fuck to npr.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
