He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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