how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
