i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've blown a few things in my day
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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