i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
