I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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