Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Randomize
