I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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