Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You dont lie about slip and slides
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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