carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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