cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
