He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
