I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
