To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
