R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
