My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just want nice things and good sex
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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