so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
