Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
