i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
