he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
