People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
