He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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