She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
