Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
