butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
