I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
