Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
