so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
