My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
