he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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