yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
