i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Come on in and take your pants off
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
