so explain again why im purple
no
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
