so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
