Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She even gives head with a lisp.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
