I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
