Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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