some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
where am i from again
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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